Goal 26 Accomplished: Take an Art Class

Art Class. A/k/a: Embracing Failure!



I walk across the Mall after work before each class. A good reminder of where I live!

I don't want to over state it, but it feels like reconnecting with my soul. With my inner child in the best way. I'm saying that despite feeling truly, deeply terrible at art.


Mixed Media is one of those rare worlds where perfectionists can let go. Or more like, have to let go. Where there's not really a wrong. Even if something is ugly, or terrible - it can be art. So there's no way to fail. It's a weird, uncomfortable concept - but so liberating at the same time.


I'm sitting next to people doing beautiful/museum level work. There are multiple professional artists in the class that just wanted experience in a different medium or wanted a way back to art after an absence. There's no way I can operate at their level, so there's almost nothing to do, but do what I can!




The Class.


There were about 12 of us in the class - ended with about 7 of us. Its down deep in the belly of one of the Smithsonian buildings. It's actually really fun - there's a side pavilion that we enter through and then climb down and down through a spiral staircase to the lowest level. At the bottom there is a hidden world of art classes. On Wednesday evenings, our class and others meet in these small classrooms. There's a drawing class, and a flower arranging class, for sure.





Week 1

Accordion booklet night. We were given long black construction paper, and a couple buckets of goodies to play with.


This is one of those times where the journey, not the destination, is what counts. I know that, and yet I feel more comfortable posting my work here because you can't see the other work that was produced in this class! The class art was amazing. Let me assure you it made me feel like an elementary kid in a college level class.

An accordion booklet was our first project.

The teacher came over during the first class and said, "Oh, I like the sequins" because there was nothing else to say after seeing all the other masterpieces. But you know what?  I loved it. The process, if not the result. It was freeing and calming.
Side note: Not sure the instructor ever had anything nice to say about my work. She gushed over other people's art. Other people really liked mine. But she was always seemed confused about my presence and my work. Oh well!


After a week of not seeing this, it seemed less like the Total Disaster I had remembered.



It reminded me of when I was in preschool. We used to play with shaving cream and draw and draw and then wipe away. It felt like that. it didn't matter what you did, it just mattered that you did something. Lesson one: embracing failure. Or really: Lesson one: There is no failure. It's not failure when you create; it's experience. At the very least, it's experimenting.

Week 2

I still feel very much that my creativity is at a different stage of unraveling than others' in the class, but I'm more content with week 2's end results!


Week two was a transparency project. We did the textured paint on one side and then did solid paint on the other side. (I should have taken a photo when it was still clear in the background, but my phone was put away for class!)

The background/backside. Acrylics on transparency.

Acrylics on transparency - used a textured tile, film strip, leaf, baby bok choy, and lace.

Side project of the day (strongly encouraged) on tar paper, oil pastels, and acrylics with a baby bok choy!

Weeks 3

Week 4: Jelly Plates!

My favorite week.

 the instructor made these "plates" made of gelatin - and we added paint, rolled it out - then added texture with random objections and printed it on paper - or transparencies, tar paper, whatever. Loved it. Fast and fun.

Weeks 5-7

We started doing less project based work - and just doing what we wanted.

There was another girl in the class (I think we were the youngest two, other than the class volunteer)- and we were probably the slowest. At everything. We were slowest to understand the lessons, start a project each time. So when we had to work on our own thing - I was so relieved that she uncontrollably asked in a fairly high pitched tone - "WHAT?! What do you mean?" "There's no assignment?"

Because of course that's what I felt. The creativity panic riding in on a wave. My mind usually goes completely blank and I have the equivalent of writer's block.

But thankfully, I'd already started a couple things - at the instructor's encouragement to have side projects every class. I finally had enough stuff to start putting things together. Phew! It was so satisfying. It felt like all the elements we'd been working on, all the art skills that felt a little silly - came together. Amazing.

The sheer amount of creativity pouring out of some of my classmates was breathtaking. The speed at which they created and developed things was astounding to me. But by the end of the class, I realized that (a) I tend to take the slow approach to new things and (b) many of them have not only been tapped into their creative juices for a long time, but they have more practice and experience. It was certainly easier by the end of class to come up with ideas then it was in the beginning. And that was true for my fellow reluctant art class participant as well.


Week 8: Encaustics
My other favorite week. This was working with a kind of wax to build layers - there's special paint that goes with it, and I have to say - in my dream art studio in my dream home - I am determined to have an encaustics space. I loved it so much.

I like this plain, early version better - without paint. but this was about learning!

In Conclusion: 

This was one of the most deeply satisfying 40 Before 40 goals accomplished to date. I feel like I broke down fears and barriers and gained skills, and had a new, unforgettable experience.

I'm seriously thinking about taking a drawing class or another art class of some kind soon. Sooner than later, I hope!





Life Lessons:
Let go of the fear of failure
Embrace experimentation - just try something!
Expression can be more fulfilling when you do it without words

Goal 25 Accomplished! Drive through the New England Fall colors

Goal 25: Leaf Peeping!

My very good friend, Erin, and her beautiful family were travelling to New England - and kindly let me come crash their weekend. I'm so grateful to get to cross another item off my list with one of my favorite people and one of the best families that I know.


And, I mean, now I can say I've gone Leaf Peeping!

Fodor's had a suggested drive through Rhode Island that included a stop at this little store that's been operational since the 1800's and has a penny candy counter!
Fodor's Rhode Island Fall Foliage Drive

We stopped at a cheese farm in Vermont that had these cuties (above and below) to entertain.

Thanks Erin for finding a genuine Vermont Cheese Farm! With truly delicious cheese. That I, sadly, left behind in Rhode Island... Reason to go back? Absolutely.

We were staying in Rhode Island (where Erin's husband Mike had a conference the following week), and took a road trip through Rhode Island and Connecticut the first day. Inspired by that first day we went on to pile on a few extra states Day 2 - because why not?! We went to Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine. 6 states in two days!

We had heard going into the trip that the fall colors might not be so bright as usual because of a dry summer - so we weren't really sure what to expect. Happily as we went further North, the colors became more dramatic.

Thank you Reynolds Family for a beautiful and lovely weekend!

Erin, Cora, and Me (photo credit: Mike Reynolds!

Goal 31: Shoot a Gun, Accomplished!





Another goal accomplished! 10 out of 40, actually - a quarter of the way!



I shot a gun. A .22 caliber!

This whole experience brought up so many things for me (facing fears on my own, The American gun experience, America's obsession and divide on gun issues) - but - I loved it. Way more than I expected.

So how did this even become a goal?

I was raised in a very strict anti-gun household. Not only were no toy guns allowed in my house, no one was allowed to even use other toys and pretend they were guns. When I asked the instructor to take a photo of me with my first shot, I said, "My mom is going to be so disappointed in me!" Sure enough her response to the photo was, "Omg! Daughter of a hippie!"

When I was teaching in Japan, though, I had so many students that went to America and went to shooting ranges to try shooting - An American experience. And a uniquely American experience in some ways. So many students would assume I was a gun owner because I'm American. They were shocked to find out I'd never shot or held a gun. At first I thought it was crazy that these students were coming to the States and taking time out of their trip to go to a shooting range. But eventually I started wondering why these Japanese students were open to the experience and I wasn't? So, my goal was set.


I learned so much more from it than I ever expected.

The Experience.

I found a Living Social deal for half off a beginner lesson at a place in Rockville (Gilbert Indoor Range), just outside of DC. There was a video lesson, a test on gun safety, and then hands on lessons about the mechanics of the gun, followed by going out on the range.

The whole set up was great for me. I loved the slow approach. I found myself super nervous going in. I was on my own - no one to nervous giggle with. No one to crack jokes with. No one to share in my terrible or awesome bullseye hitting.



I got to shoot at various distances - 10, 15, 20, and 30 feet.

The instructor was a middle aged guy, former military. His daughter had just given birth to his first grandchild that night. Yet, here he was: Sharp, kind, patient. He was so supportive with lots of positive reinforcement. And lots of little quizzes. I was the only one in the class - so we went at my pace - it was unhurried, but not dull.



I was surprised how heavy the gun was and how heavy the elements of the gun were - the bolt release, the magazine release, the safety. I was surprised how tired my arms got holding it out for a long time and how quickly my eyes got blurry.



Me & My First shot! I was so relieved that I hit the paper at all - let alone anywhere near the target!

A few reflections.


Facing the fear of shooting a guy, by myself was interesting. I had way more nervous butterflies than I expected. "These are real guns, Dummy," kept going through my head. "Anything can happen!" When they kept calling it a HOT range (because people fire whenever they want not at all at the same time), it made me kind of wish I had someone with me. When the instructor told me I was going to shoot the last 40 rounds by myself, I thought, "But, who's going to cover my six?!" But - wouldn't you know it - of course, I felt all that much stronger having gone alone and made it through.


All the gun issues kept swirling. Gun violence in America is a source of pretty big frustration for me - so what  was I doing going to a gun range? But how can I go bananas about something constitutionally protected that I haven't even tried?


When the uber driver taking me from the metro to the range called and asked where I was going - I said I was going to a shooting range, he was like, "Whoa" as in ... I was wondering if I was going to need to call another ride. On the other hand, the uber driver who picked me up when it was over talked to me about it. I told him, I was raised anti-gun; almost knee jerk reaction, he was like - "I'm pro gun ...I'm conservative, and I'm pro gun, and I think the NRA does a lot in the country to defend gun safety." - but then said he'd never shot one! We ended up talking about the lesson and the experience - it was actually really nice.


In my brief discussion with uber driver #2, I said that I thought both sides try to make a very nuanced argument way too simple. Anti-gun Liberals are crazy to say or imply that no one should have a gun. An Oregon judge recently said that all guns should be thrown in the ocean. I completely understand the sentiment. And while I would love to live in a world where we could abolish all guns and weapons, that's not the world we live in. A lot of liberals aren't saying that we need to take them all but it can seem like that's all that pro-gun conservatives hear sometimes. Similarly, just because you can arm yourself doesn't mean that you should be able to arm yourself with anything that you can label as a gun. Not all regulations are a slippery slope towards taking away all the guns, but I understand why it can feel that way. It's a messy, emotional subject and there are strong arguments on both sides.


I will say this, I bought my gun lesson for my birthday - and since then have been watching all these post-apocalyptic shows (Falling Skies, The Walking dead, The Fifth Wave, The Last Ship) - and I have to tell you, it made me really happy I had a gun lesson on the books.

Look at all those bullseyes!



Goal Met: I went outside my comfort zone.  I tried something new. I loved it. I learned a lot about me I didn't expect to. And, I'd go again tomorrow. 

40 Before 40: Annual Birthday Check-in

I know things have changed in my life because I bought myself a beginning shooting range lesson for my birthday (Goal #31)! But seriously - All in all, the standard of my travel and life experience has been raised and seems to be holding strong. I'm still seeing the world in new ways and learning all sorts of interesting things. I'm demanding more from myself and I like it.

As a goal-oriented person, I function better within the structure that goals provide. One of the byproducts of this whole endeavor is learning a broad enough life approach that I'm more capable of spontaneity. At least I hope so! It's a weird thing to plan and prepare for, and one that I know will continue to be a big challenge for me.



Unexpected Benefits
One of the more unexpected benefits of this challenge has been that it's making my life easier. I know that sounds a little strange. It's been providing an excuse and reason to focus on determining what I really want in the big picture. Each time I get a better handle on some aspect of that, it makes day to day decisions easier, too. I can see and sort through things more effectively.

In the past month or two, I've been doing some heavy duty reflecting: What are realistic goals? What goals do I really care about? What goals can I logistically and financially complete? What goals will I be most proud to accomplish?

I have 4 more years and 31 more goals. 

Categories
I have been mildly surprised by the evolution of these goals over time. It turns out I have 3 categories of goals on my list: (1) Experiences, (2)Adventures, and (3) Skill Acquisition. More and more, I'm drawn to skill development rather than facing down fears - but not giving up on that either. I'd been mulling that over for awhile, when I couldn't help but do a little analysis of what my list really represents. There's definitely some crossover. Is shooting a gun an experience or a skill acquisition? Is driving through New England an experience or an adventure? Regardless, everything seems to fit pretty succinctly into one or more of the categories. And they are now fairly well distributed.

Non-Fiction
Deciding to add in 40 non-fiction feels both natural and like a cheat, but also falls into the category of something that will make me feel more accomplished and proud. I'm almost giddy at giving myself permission to add it to the list. In so-doing, I found myself struggling to determine what to move down to the alternative list.

George Washington (National Cathedral) Reflecting

Goal Narrowing
Travel was an overwhelming number of my initial 40 (big surprise, right?), which is not only not financially viable, but also fails to achieve the underlying purpose of this quest: to broaden my life experiences. While travel provides plenty of opportunity to go outside my comfort zone and try new things - there are other areas where I need extra incentive. Travel is something that I'll do without a blog to hold myself accountable! Well, most travel. Would I get to Africa before I turn 50 or 60 without the blog? Maybe not... So it remains on the list, for now. Additionally, I find folding adventure goals into a travel experience has been really fun. Where to go parasailing... Miami? Bahamas?





Let the Adventuring continue! 

Goal 11: Visit the 4 Corners of the US, Accomplished!

Over the fourth of July weekend I went to Maine, and with that have finally been to all four corners of the US!

For years, I'd never been north on Boston or been anywhere close to the South. Not only that, but I hadn't really been to the SW of the US, either. I'd been to Southern California on a Disneyland trip in 1989; so had never seen the true Southwest, and hadn't really been even to the south western section of the US map since Elementary School.

Since beginning this 40 Before 40 quest, I've been reflecting on realistic and attainable goals vs. long term goals. I realize that ultimately I'd like to visit all 50 states, but I don't feel a pressing need to get that done before I'm 40. I don't want to be rushing through states just to cross them off my list!

However, I do want to have a better sense of various regions of the country. So, the 4 Corners went on the list! The SE was the hardest one - should it be Georgia (more East, but not as south) or Florida (the opposite)? I decided either one would count.

In the year and a half since I've started this 40 Before 40 mission, I've actually visited all four corners! And it's making me geek out a little about how beautiful America is. I know we are in turmoil and we have good reasons to be so outrageously disagreeing with each other, but we have a beautiful country with a lot of good people, food, drinks, and some good history in there too.

Northwest

Thanksgiving 2015, I went to the most northwestern part of the contiguous United States on Cape Flattery, Washington.

Southwest

I've been both the San Diego and Arizona. Thus crossing off both the more cartographic SW as well as the more cultural SW.

Southeast

A work trip brought me to Atlanta, Georgia. And my mom & I visited a family friend in South Carolina!

Northeast

Last, but not least - I spent the 4th of July weekend (2016) in Maine.



Okay, a little Boston!

Still so much more to see, but feeling like I've made some serious progress and grown in my appreciation both for where I come from and our nation as a whole.

Purpose of goal: Achieved!